The more I change the more I remain the same

Caveat: ‘I’ am an imaginary construct. Any resemblance whatsoever to anyone dead or alive is a mere coincidence...
Ever since I gained something close to consciousness, I have been seeing/hearing ‘chalta hai’. So I stopped chasing excellence. There was something within me which simply hesitated to dig deep and put in the required effort as that something within me always saw mediocrity being promoted. Merit was a good virtue to possess, but then there was always an ‘another’ who would go past me either because of his/her surname or a long hand(le).
Was excited abt my 18th birthday. Unfortunate that I was and still am left with no choice but to elect/select the ‘less bad’. When we allow someone that we know not the best one around to make policies, they are bound to go haywire. And, we stand to lose our moral right to complain about such an unfortunate thing. Alas, democracy is supposed to empower the citizens to be the master of their own destiny. Let’s be honest and ask are we? When I am asked to grease someone’s palm to get something (which is my legal/constitutional entitlement) done like a driving license, a ration card, a passport, availing health-care facility, etc, nothing can be more unfortunate than this. I am yet not talking about a safe and secured society around me.
I think I have been indifferent of sort hearing about the blast every year. The recent Mumbai blasts were no exceptions. Deep down there, I see ‘fear’- fear of returning home as i step out, fear of losing any dear one as they travel. No place on this planet seem to me as a safe bet, nor even a police station.
Every time I see new schemes , new polices being made to die their natural death. Two things that are strikingly amazing in my country in last 6 decades; one is its democracy and other its persistent poverty, as if we don’t seem to care much and take them for granted.
Just a passing thought: imagine if one is given a chance to choose a place to be born in. You think India’s population would be 1.2 bln. I bet, no...Only the dirty minds wud choose. Please pardon my sense of patriotism here.
There was this joke which took a round in emails sometime back- Americans fart and say: Excuse me! Britishers fart and say: Pardon me! Japanese fart and say: Forgive me! AND Indians fart and say: NOT ME! It’s always ‘me’ when things are all honky-dory. The moment there is a bit of accountability, it’s not ‘my job’. Am sure may would tag me as ‘cynical’. But, am not left with better words now. How better one would feel when being let down by every ‘others’ who ought to have provided me with a sense of fool-good? Tolerance would certainly have been the greatest virtue to have, but if at the cost of human lives, then I am really sorry. I am not calling a head for another. But, my head should not be your head’s business.
What did a small child do to deserve a life without his father who never returned home because some ba***rd dropped a bomb on his way? By what stretch of imagination would it be ok to say that all terrorist acts cannot humanly be stopped? Is it my responsibility to always safeguard my life? If so, why the h**l then you come to me every five years to beg for my vote? If I have to stick my neck out for every bit that possibly affects my life, why should I then care for/respect that ‘anyone’?
Why do I need change when I am continuously made to feel that more the things change, more they remain in essence the same? I am born in a no-man’s land and allow me to peacefully perish at no-man’s mercy.